12th March 2026
I've been reading this book, The Complete Secrets of Happy Children by Steve & Shaaron Biddulph, and there are many helpful tips for parents, carers, and professionals of how to help to nurture the children in our care.
One particular phrase that it mentions is 'to a large degree, kids decide what they are worth based on what they are worth to you, and based on your enjoyment of their company.' (pg164).
This seems so obvious and as a play therapist, I know the importance of me showing value and giving 100% attention to each child that I work with. I also recognise this as a parent to two children.
The book says it's what you do, not what you say, which is most important. When we spend time enjoying children in their younger years, there is more chance of them being sure and confident in themselves and their worth as they go into their teenage years. When we focus on 'enjoying' our children, the focus will be less on the frustrations and demands and more on the positives and finding the joy in them.
How can we show them their worth?
- something that I do when my children come home from school, I give them a hug and talk about their day. Sometimes I don't get a lot back and that's ok. but they know that when they want to talk about it, I am available.
- when they come and want to talk, I stop what I am doing and and give them eye contact so they know that I am listening.
- spend time with them and let them choose what you do together
- be interested in them by showing curiosity in what they are doing, find out how they are feeling
These are just some ideas but there are loads and we can explore others.
Why is it important for children to know their worth?
- it builds confidence
- it protects their mental and emotional wellbeing
- it encourages resilience
- they can build stronger relationships
- there is more chance that they will make healthier choices for themselves in the future.
Play therapy is an excellent way of helping children who are struggling in any of the areas in the list above. Get in touch to find out more.
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